for you all: deserving or non-deserving?

This post is for all of you,
You have gone through so much that sometimes i am baffled of your strength and desire of surviving. Never think for one second that you don't deserve something. You all have such beautiful souls, and you all deserve your piece of heaven, someone for whom you are the world, maybe you have that person nearer than you expect, just don't see it. Never allow anyone to step on your pride and on your accomplishments.You deserve the best and only the best.
Never allow yourself to think lesser of you.
I love you all, and for the New Year i Wish to all of you the you may find happiness, in whatever form you need it.
Yours Faithfully,
"PerfectingMyEmptiness"

resolution

i want to be thin, and i will do no matter what to achieve it. It doesn't even matter anymore how i am going to do it, i just know that i won't stop until it happens. I want people to say "whoa, last time i saw her she was way fatter, look how beautiful she is". I want to perfect my mask of perfection, so that no one would even think about talking to me.
I want to make a tattoo once i will be thin enough, this will be my reward

I want this, so no questioning myself...i will get on to business. I will be lighter than a snowflake or a leaf
I will not have anything come in my way.
I will not allow any slips.
I will not allow any danger to go even near me.
I will be so thin that no one will notice me anymore, i will just be the perfect girl sitting alone and watching everyone stuff their mouths and laugh inwardly.
I love you all my dearest.
End of Post
Love is written on our arms and bones
"PerfectingMyEmptiness"

my sick twisted mind

yep, i am right, i know i am right. I wanted to fast today, did i?of course not, what a question. I wanted to celebrate i haven't cut in over a month, did i succeed? of course not i cut today.
Why am i like this?can't i follow one plan at a time?i see your beautiful words, and you scale number shrinking and i wonder if i am really THAT stupid. It seems to me that i should give up my hypocrisy, i mean really, i moan and bitch about my ever-existing fat when all i can do all day long if shove food into my mouth, in my throat, my stomach, i feel it making its way....GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD...why can't i be like you guys, just say no, i have to have those effing binges...i can't stop, it is like i am me but not only i am outside my body, not even tasting the food, i feel like i can watch myself.
I AM DISGUSTING
"PerfectingMyEmptiness"

a song

catatonia- bulimic beats, a great song, full of emotion
I am good, my absence was due to the lack of network, i have been good, in lack of better words.
I love you all with all my heart and sometimes my heart breaks for you, sometimes i feel a surge of happiness when i find out that you had a good day.
Today i found out something...an Ana buddy right before my nose. :):)i am soooooooooooooooooo happy
"PerfectingMyEmptiness"