I've been starting to write new posts for a week now, but i keep changing them...first of all, if there are people that are still reading my crappy posts...thank you so much and i hope it helped you :)
My life? there are so many things to write about...i broke up with L, it is just better, you know? Have you ever got the feeling that your "mission" in  someone's life has finished? that is what i am feeling with L...
Ed has been quiet for a while, i still think about fat fat fat, but it is way better than it was a few years ago...
Do you know the feeling of emptiness? not hunger...emptiness, that is more or less how i feel, i feel drained, i feel as if talking to others will finish all my strength....as if simply walking is an ordeal, i want to stop thinking, to stop having to make decisions...
The Law school has been going down, i want to quit, i want to finish the Marketing College, i want to fly, my dear broken girls...i want to fly and not look back...
I want to feel as if the earth is behind me, nothing to stop me...i am starting to hate people, to hate my parents, to hate everyone...i want... i don't even want to know what i want...i fail and i want to stop being a failure in every sense...
I now remember why i loved this blog, i want to love it again...this was, is and will be forever the place to hide and lick my injuries, the place where i can rant, and even if no one will be reading this piece of crap, i will be free from it...
I want to get rid of the people that hurt me, to erase them from my mind, to be able to think about the beautiful things that have happened to me, the beautiful people i have encountered...
I want so much to learn to be selfish, pure and unaltered selfishness...to be able to think solely of myself and not of others....
I had a dream, dear ones, a dream that could have been accomplished but as always, money, being the most important thing in our world, stopped me... The Law School...it breaks me when i think that i will have to quit...
I wish my parents could stop yelling, i wish i could be 12 again, to not see the hatred in their eyes...i feel as if my parents are the predator and i am the prey...i feel cornered...i want to get out...
The feeling of home has been forever erased from my mind because of them, the way they think, the way they act, based solely on appearances. I sometimes feel like the only reason they tolerate me is that i have been their trophy, always being complimented by relatives and acquaintances...
I never studied out of pleasure, but because i knew i had to make them feel happy with me...
I want to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun far away, away from everything...i feel like i am choking on air...
Sorry for this post :))
Take care of you, dear souls,
PME