Hello,my dear dear friends,
I feel I have neglected everyone here, some of you have helped me a lot during times that I don't think I could have helped myself. Thank you, to all of you...
My life has changed quite a lot, in a good sense, I have moved out of the hellhole, I am living with a beautiful, smart, funny guy who gently tries to make me see me for what I am. In some parts he has succeeded, in others I am not quite sure anybody can succeed. The point is that I am changed, in what, I do not exactly know, but I am changed, I am on my way to who I think I was supposed to be, if not for all this chaos that has happened in my life.
I wish you could see the way he is, how beautiful, caring...he is a wonderful human being. I try to battle this feeling that has been creeping up on me that says he deserves someone else, but I am not sure how much of it can be put out as a false thought. Why do I still feel as if I don't deserve? His mother is a wonderful woman who loves me and treats me as her own daughter. He studied psychology...I feared that once he knew it all he will run in the other way as fast as possible... And guess what, he didn't, he stayed rooted to the place... Dear human beings...he has given me what no one else could...he gave me roots, he taught me the sense of a home... I cannot begin to thank him enough...
I have recently come upon the discovery that my father is alive...my father whom I thought dead for the past few years...what do I do with that information? I have no idea...but what I do know is that I will manage.. I can proudly say that MIA, SI have gone from my life entirely, with Ana...that is something else, I can still hear her voice, but that also is a faint ghost of the scream that used to be heard...
I need to hear from you...all of you that still read this post...can you please do that? my mail is never_b@yahoo.com...please do feel free to e-mail me...if you need someone whom you can talk to, I know I may not be of much help, but at least you can talk to me :)
I hold you near my heart...Thank you,
PME
10/31/13
Thank you
Posted by PerfectingMyEmptiness at 11:04 AM
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Hey sweety :) I'm SO happy to read your recovering! But maybe, if you read this whole thing you can take away something from it ♥
I'm not perfect...
You want to know the truth about me? You want to know my past?
Here it comes…
I have turners syndrome, a chromosome mutation which among many things causes infertility.
So I cannot have a child on my own… also I’m short. I was bullied because of turner syndrome already in kinder garden.
I’ve also suffered from anorexia, bulimia and binge eating plus social anxiety, because of low low self esteem. Because of these disorders I’ve pushed away many people, whom of course I wanted in my life!
I’ve undergone surgery to remove a breast tumor, the scariest experience of my life!
I’ve NEVER had a real friend whom I could meet on my free time and just hang out with, because me and my family have constantly moved from one place to another.
Me and my family have been through some VERY HARD times, in every way you could possibly imagine… we’re NOT perfect.
Let just say my 20 years of life have given me much experience…
Because of this, I’ve never felt worthy of being loved and therefore I’ve been unable to love others. I have HATED myself and felt like “giving up”, if you know what I mean…
So I’m NOT perfect, I still struggle! But I can tell you I’ve found something; forgive me; someone, that has NEVER failed to help me get by.
God. HOLD ON! HOLD ON! Don’t quit reading just yet, just read one more line:
Think about it. Let just suppose for a second that God actually exists, and that as the Bible says he came to this earth as a HUMAN to DIE for YOU. Yeah… The ALLMIGHTY LORD of the universe LOVES – Y.O.U!!! – SO MUCH THAT HE SENT HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON TO THIS EARTH AS A HUMAN TO DIE, SO THAT EVERY!!!!ONE THAT BELIVES IN HIM MAY NOT PERISH! BUT HAVE ETEEEEEEEEEEERNAL LIIIIIIFEEE! John 3:16.
But maybe you don’t even want eternal life.. I mean, life is just so full of problems you know…
Hey, this is NOT eternal life. It is NOT this kind of life the Bible is talking about when it mentions eternal life. ETEEERNAL life, is a WONDERFUL HAPPY LIFE WITHOUT ANY TRIBULATION!! IT IS A PROBLEM FREE LIFE!
The reason why this world is so lost, is because it is filled with sin. One of the angels in heaven disobeyed God, rebelled against Him and proclaimed war against God. IT IS NOT GOD’S FAULT!
GOD IS A LOVING GOD. Why don’t you give Him just one shoot… Just one shoot. The Bible says God has already endured your pains, your problems, your trials. Isaiah 53:4. He died… for YOU. That’s how much He LOVES y.o.u. He HAS ALREADY WON for YOU! John 16:33 : “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” All YOU have to do is say one word… : Yes.
Yeah, it is that simple :) Just say yes to his offer of a renewal, a GOOD life. It’s not ALWAYS going to be a walk on roses, but I PROMISE YOU it IS worth it! :) I’ve found joy. God has given me His joy, peace, calm, faith, EVERYTHING I need.
One last thin: I love you.
That is why I’m telling you all of this.
I’m hoping that you will experience a fulfilling LIFE, LIFE ABOUNDANTLY, a life even better than mine. :)
There is always hope! In God.
Hope this gave you something to think about, and that it inspired you to LIVE and LIVE ABOUNDANTLY in God :)
May the Lord bless you lovely ♥
Hug!! :)
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