I don't think i ever considered myself a woman. I would like to consider myself forever a child. The thing is that my middle school was not the most pleasant time in my life...fuck it, it was horrible, i used to be bullied, people who wanted to be my friends couldn't be because of the outside influence. Every friend i have made eventually have fallen out.
That is why i have made myself used to not depending on something or someone. But then the rape happened, Ana happened, Mia happened, MPD happened...How have i managed to get so, so disordered?I keep asking myself this.
Also i am the not proud at all owner of 145 pounds. I seem to be in the never ending getting lower and then back again and so on.
Today i ate 2 chocolate bars, and a portion of pasta.
I look at myself and am disgusted. How i would wish to be small and vulnerable. you know when you see a person and she is tiny and thin, you have the immense desire to protect her. That is who i want to be...Will i ever be so?
2/11/11
Posted by PerfectingMyEmptiness at 12:03 PM
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5 comments:
<3
vulnerable isnt always good, though. =(
That is so lovely.
I just want someone to care.. like actually care it sucks trust me I know! I'm one of those girls everyone just assumes is happy all the time. If only they knew the real me
Hi you wonderful <3
I have just created a thinspo-page where I upload at least 30 new pics per day... Maybe you have any picture you want me to publish? Well, hun, you can at least check the page out :)
Take care <3
i love you.
and i am the exact same weight right now, and despite my efforts i cannot seem to do anything about it, but i think where there is will there is way but we must be careful because it can turn dangerous and that never brings happiness, y'know?
i really want to give you a big hug.
My Beautiful Lunacy, My Blog.
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