HOW ARE YOU???

Hello...i am really ashamed of my absence...really sorry and if you wish to forgive me one more time, i am going to be extremely grateful...i am...ok, i think, i am...happy, this is a state of mind i didn't often encountered and it brings me an euphoria that i never felt...i am happy...loved, cared for...i wish you could feel it...and i really mean that...i see that most of you gave up trying to talk to me and i understand that, but still i wish you could tell me how are you...what happened lately...with everyone...

what do you call a stupid girl doing stupid things?
Guess...ME ME ME!!!!!!!!!!

i have been friend zoned by L...i feel my heart shattered...ana's whispers are turning louder and louder...

thoughts

i miss laying on the grass....at night, looking at the stars...have you ever tried it? if not...try it...it will make you euphoric, it will make you forget a little...everything.

PME

I missed

    First of all...i am sorry, i know i have been saying sorry a lot lately, but I truly am sorry.
    I am in my final year at highschool, i have tons of exams, i have the admission exam at university. I have decided on studying here for college. I think that that has been and still is the best decision i could take.
    I am moving out, from my parent's house. I am still with L, the guy i have been telling you about...he still makes my stars shine, he still makes my heart flutter and my knees go weak. We have almost one year since we hooked up...it has been some time since Ana, Mia ceased their mumbling or their yelling in my head. I cannot not look and food labels, I cannot not calculate the calories...but I am better, way better, the nightmares have almost totally ceased...i am not moving in with him...
     I do want to know how have you been, what is new in your lives, if you want to, could you comment on this post or send me an e-mail at never_b@yahoo.com.
    I missed the feeling of blogging, the feeling of writing,
I love you so much, all of you, each one of you
xoxo
PME

AWAAAARD

I got an award...i am so so so thankful...
Soooooooooo:

1) I love giving pieces of advice, about personal life, professional life, whatever, I just love it.
2)The only thing i like about my body are my dimples, when i smile huge dimples show...
3)) I love piano songs...the atmosphere it creates is magic, so relaxing yet alarming....pure heaven
4) I love looking at the people crossing by, just looking at their expression, trying to decipher their thoughts, where are they going, where are they coming from.
5) I like the necklace and rings my mother bought me
6) I love my dimples
7) I love Misty and my boyfriend


My dearest friend
 Best best friend
she renders me speechless through her beautiful posts
she is a dear
she is a fighter

sunshine mood

i am so sorry, for all the ones that follow me, i am sorry i haven't been commenting properly, that i am not being attentive to you...

it is just, you know the feeling when you are extremely happy?

and you simply feel it is just you and him/her in this whole world.

i have decided to studying in a university in Romania and afterwards going for master in UK.

It is the best decision there is, i know i am still not ready, still not mature enough to go on my own, for if i go, i cannot come back, it is a one way street.

I am happy, i haven't cut in...many weeks, many months, i am happy, he gives me power to go on, but i know i could go on without him, i know that.

But he is a part of my soul.

I am talking of course of my boyfriend, i wish you could see him, he has sea-like blue, green, gray eyes, blonde.

He might not seem to others the most beautiful person on earth but for me he is...

yes ladies...ATTENTION EVERYONE...PME is TOTALLY WHIPPED.

he knows me, everything, and, SI, the rape, everything, not once has he shown pity, disgust like i thought he will, he is being attentive, it is like he knows what i am thinking, we are texting the same ideas in the same time. He completes, makes me feel unique and loved...

I do have dark thoughts, i do starve, but not like i used to, i do feel the urge of cutting but it gets lighter and lighter...i feel like i am winning, for once in my life i am winning...you know what? Myself, ladies, for i am worthy of being saved.

I think i love him...

there is this nagging little scared voice that tells me everytime that he will get bored, that he will break up with me, sometimes i give in and believe it, but most of the times, i just tell it to shush.

I am sorry if you felt i have abandoned you, i have most certainly not. I am with you, reading, but i do have the final exam, it is killing me, so much to study, so much pressure to have the biggest grade...what if i won't take it? those are my all-day-thoughts.

Sometimes i feel guilty of being so happy, for i think i don't deserve to be happy...

but i don't care whether i deserve the happiness or not, i just care that i am happy, i don't want to darken my sunshine like mood.

I love you so much, i hope you haven't feel abandoned, i did not abandon you, i am always here for you, i swear :)

Yours always truthfully,

PME

PS: Please take care of you, beautiful angels

xoxoxo